Love us BECAUSE OF our autism, Celebrate Neurodiversity

this is for my own self reflection, I would like to understand better, what do you mean by love and accept you because of your autism and not in spite of?

ANSWER from an autistic person:

It means to love yourself in your entirety. Don’t say “I love who I am even though I’m fat” for example. I love myself for my differences - my hyperactivity gives me energy when I need it, my lack of focus enables me to concentrate on many conversations simultaneously, my ability to hyper focus combined with my need to “deep dive” into my special area enables me to be an expert in things I love. Does this make sense. I love who I am because of my Autistic traits.

It is a “strength-based” approach to loving who you are. Instead of seeing your Autistic traits through a negative lens, you see them through a strength based lens which means you will love yourself for these traits.


Examples for illustration below:

IN SPITE OF Autism mentality

- we dislike your behaviours and your awkwardness (though we don't tell you). We wish you were not autistic. But we still accept you. You are still one of us.

- we tolerate your behaviours. We are just being patient

- I never saw you as autistic, but just a normal friend, like any other friend

- [biological family context] we are irritated, but we still love you because we are family. But we do wish you can behave more normally

BECAUSE OF Autism mentality

- We celebrate the the difference you bring to us, for diversity is the spice of life. You see things in ways we don't. You have a unique sense of humour and it brings life to the group.

- we are cool with your behaviours (not tolerate, but we are cool with it, period). We in fact at times love the joy and unique sense of humour which overflows from you.

- we accept you because of your difference and we don't wish for you to be otherwise

- [biological family context] We love you because you are different/unusual. Your different character adds diversity to our family and we love you for that. Your difference comes with unique sets of strengths and for that you are awesome.


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